I know, it’s sad. But after a month I already can’t stand my job. I previously blogged about wanting to simply quit cashiering and instead spend all my time in the office. It’s not looking like that will happen anymore. I still hate cashiering, and although the plan was to at least wait until March to start looking for work again, I don’t think I can even wait that long now knowing I’ll be stuck cashiering for most of the time. Not to mention the pain-in-the-ass co-workers that just make a difficult job more difficult (like being blamed for the microwave being dirty when it had nothing to do with you; dumb shit). I’m soooo tired of people…
I took the job because I needed the money. I’m thankful for the paycheck, but I’ll be approaching 30 soon (sooner than you all think, even), and the amount I make is simply not enough for me to move forward at all. At best I could save maybe $7,000 a year for other stuff. That’s not enough to buy a car any better than the one I have already, and certainly not enough to make a living on (because my current hourly salary isn’t enough to make a living on). It would take me YEARS at this rate. I wouldn’t leave home and be financially dependent until I turn 40. I can’t wait that long. I just can’t. I’ve already missed out on a lot of good and fun things in my 20s, and I don’t want my 30s to be the same way. And I don’t want to live/exist to work. I’m tired of this situational depression I’ve been dealing with for what seems forever.
I don’t know what the next step is or where to go from here, but I know I have to do something. I’ve been reconsidering going back to college, even though I know it wouldn’t ensure me a job after graduation. It would either be a degree in Graphic Design, an Internet & Social Media degree, or a possible MBA. I might also just combine 2 of these or ALL of these. I don’t know. I already have about $45,000 in school loans, and there’s apparently a limit on how much you can take out in federal loans (I have no private loans and never will, thank God). So this might be something else my grandparents would have to help out with.
I also reached out to a family friend involved with social media & TV media. He has his own company, so he’s usually pretty busy, but he’ll message/email me back when he has time. He previously helped me a little with my YouTube videos earlier this year. So I know he would be a BIG help to work with, whether I interned for his company, or just shadowed him for a day or two.
I’m also trying to do some networking again— but only with people I know well or who are good, reliable friends with my parents. I already asked a friend to keep an eye out for any medical, clerical positions she hears about. I might also look to work where my dad works. I don’t know yet if they’re hiring, but if so, I’ll just use good old nepotism in addition to my other job experience to get work there. Then I can just carpool with my dad for awhile and split the gas.
So… yeah. That’s my plan— figure out someplace stable to land next job-wise or get more education and hope I can change direction that way. I’m so desperate at this point. I can’t keep doing the same things anymore. I don’t have the patience for it anymore. It’s not fulfilling and it doesn’t make me happy in any way (even the part that I somewhat like).
This… or some sort of large financial miracle to give me a current quick boost to take care of my loans, a new car (with air, heat, a radio & decent tires) & enough money to move into an apartment or townhouse and furnish it. But I doubt I’d ever get that kind of miracle…